fifty one: one word, criticism and realism

Social Realism, USSR, internet

Una noche...

One word,
who.
who,
why
what?
this partial testimony of an existence, is for?
my audience? the need to write, document. exist. at least if I am here?
what is this necessary freedom of expression and must, I ?

((but...Deep in my heart there is a fire
but...Deep in my heart there is desire))

One word, criticism, good, bad, good, great, feeling good.

Feeling bad. Bad is in terrible, bad as in legally inhibited by nightmares,
terrible as perhaps I'm sick, bad as in feverish, bad as in who and where, feeling sorry for mybody?

Writing as an once upon time-event,
event as a gesture, gesture as effort, effort as life, life as struggle, struggle as forgiven.
One word...accumulation.

One word,
criticism.
In terms of cool.
Cool.

Cool is a name. Cool as in you, cool as in cold and unapologetic. Cool is as cool does.
who cared?
never get one of those real lives.
It's not worth the struggle, the effort. Not forgiven.
what?
The despised reality. The testimony. Bother little.
Hands down. My pen and ink. Down they lay, down they lay. Onto bed of insecurities of a little girl. Tears?
Killing them, seething, my teeth shattering.
Who do you think?
Leading the battle?
winner?

"what is there is my name for you?
it will die out, like sad waves sounding
their last, on distant shorelines pounding.
as in deaf woods night's sounds ring through." Pushkin

Russian restaurants
live pop music
terrible singing
awful backup amateur dancers and singers
their short skirts and leopard fake pleather thigh high boots
that nightclub cage,
tight dresses

Oh the breaking of hearts and male egos
she leaves

unprofessional, uncivilized, unorganized, unstable, hysterical, feeling too much,
saying too little, oh woman, woman

anger.

skip and hop
to Bunnyville
you'd say
you'd stay
cream and sugar in your morning coffee

chocolate pudding with your coffee?
giving me a push out the door
rain rain- stopping for your seconds
clocks I do not own.
Nobody wins.
The long and tired race is not over, not yet, not yet

(( you are my heart,
deep in my heart there is desire for a star,
you are my soul))

whisper it a thousand times, into her/his/their ear.
Valentine's special.

Who said you have the authority to care?
To question.
Uncool and cool.
Plaid, velvet and crucial moments at the right angle.
organic honey.
Curry, coconut milk .
I like soy beans.

((keep that candle burning,
living in my dreams))

I'll be holding you forever
My soul
My heart
My.
Oh my that's the only thing I really know.
How dated you seem. I go, there you are, shining, holding you forever, feeling like I lost control, that is the envy, oh my , good, thing I know, at last.

I lost: will loose: already gone - control.
Control over your actions, all actions.
That is the only thing I actually know about.

The blue dress.
People.
Mambo for me.
Italian

Oh boy,
do I like all that.

I will keep writing.
One word: ?