Katya Grokhovsky, Status Update or How do you feel? 2011, acrylic on canvas.Words fail. Transforming slowly back into the student.
Now. Anxious, annoyed and interrupted.
I keep thinking about my recent visit to Disneyland.
However, some kind of half formed and barely baked partly-raw and vile--sentences overwhelm me and I am not consciously capable of forming a written statement about the visit. Chaotic, overcrowded, over- marketed and psyched, elbowed and yelled at, fire-worked and paraded for Xmas.....lit up like a giant, yes, one of those Happy Xmas trees, spooned around and tossed aside.
I guess it was Fun Fun at the Happiest and most occupied -to- the maximum- human-capacity place on earth. I am pondering. Looking at Paul McCarthy's recent work inspired by Disneyland- drawings and sculptures. I am feeling viscerally aware and fuelled. Highly lucrative overwhelming desire to be overtly messy and slightly vulnerable, physically fragile, mentally edged emotionally up against and into a wall of art, exposed, wide angled-opened and violated by Sparkle-Pink-Happiness of the Disney- sprinkled Cartoon Sugar-Load. I am there. Can I play now?
Can I be disgusting, can I not clean for weeks? Can I live as an over- educated, artistically professionally inclined, coffee-snob-addict-soon to be unemployed, once again, pretty piggy-pig? Please? Can I eat whatever comes to mind, whatever I can afford and whatever I , please, want? Can I stay in bed all day in my flannel faded pyjamas? Can I live like this? Please? I declare my bed a studio and get out of it, reluctant.
Perhaps, it all makes absolutely no difference. Stressed, angry, ill and overwhelmed madly, welcomed back to the Happiest Place ON Earth, Art School . Hooray!!!
