Katya Grokhovsky 2010BACK TO SCHOOL.
SPECIAL?
2nd year MFA.
Who's afraid? ............Puh!...I couldn't aspire to anything higher....i wanna be loved by you...just you....
New bigger studio. Fishbowl, window above my head, I can be watched from the street 2 floors above. Exhibitionist? Down-under in the basement. SHOULD I DANCE FOR YOU? I can see a triangle of a sky. Success. Tiny pleasing miracles in abundance. Attracting energy. BANG BANG. Preparing an action-performance. INVITING TO SLOW DANCE. obsessing over the sentimentally softly glamorous and vintage play list. trying hard, crying lost illusions. languages floating in and out of my headphones and consciousness. It'll happen at the edges and the borders.trusting instinct, loosing sleep, breaking my own awkward moments and movements.Hidden talents? Dance and realistic-renaissance painting ability. ...alone.....
divivverer...vomavere..questa..cosa...elluuuuuni comnera somprandra la cosi...
pue che poui...naon lachara....ALL YOU CAN YOU GOTTA TAKE THIS LIFE AND LIVE IT...NEEEVER ...I UNDERSTAND..OHHHHHOOOGO
seeping gently into my veins mixing inside....dancing..the slow dance playlist enters my center..words sing themselves...just you...nobody else...
you get one chance.....its shadows every memory that....i tell you this because i know...
Fear and loathing: pleasure and truth: be ready. Metal wielding ? Frustrating myself, I am attracted and appalled. No tool language. Basics and I'm nearly crying. Really? Open flame beckons and I submit to endless safety and instruction lecturing. Metal? here we go, sculptor! New leather boots. they hurt my feet. Performance, writing and metal blending into each other in harmony in my meddled head. Let's figure this one out. Shock and blood, guts and wonder. Sweating and swallowing pride and ego. yet...Possibilities and new worlds. My head fills itself up with ideas, which when hitting the wall of reality , fall heavily to the concrete floor of the shop. Ah well. Let's see what we can achieve here, best of all, learn. Trying to stick to this is perhaps futile, but let me try , please, I promise I'll survive the drill and grind, so to speak! Fear full? Yes. Quitting? No. This is a performance anxiety accelerated and submitted to objective thought, what am I to do in the metal class, in the heavy duty beautiful metal shop? Perform miracles. Make something, damn it! NEXT!
MONCIONE TUTT POI DIVIVERA LA PICA PUI VHE PUO pu che puoi
Should I dance for us?
Social history of dance. Ma le ruci, tittera fonte teiento...Italy..I miss youuu..nun merascicio ti peki viento...cominche....Tu pole liesei...tmatanto tonte bella nesai...una c tae normale...syo snat tuitno delesaui....
Heart stings...strings strings voice ..Julio Iglesias...why so emotional?
tu poic bena
I was by myself ...lonely wine..then he walked in..with some woman whose place was once mine..and she wore his ring on her finger...
the band began a song...i saw a man and he danced with his wife...we danced on this floor..his eyes were only on me...where how could i go wrong? all night long...two weeks later...knock on a door...he was back...all those good times before...he kissed me and he told me i left her coz i love you..so much more...than i knew...
i saw a man and he ..now hes dancing with me
i remember before his eyes were only.....
a volte infrantifantasia te nedo tlemaneta soviviaolia supita ete che choriosmoi te vosto viseop jama prses molatil ah volte tvoreeeeeeee...di voy madonna angelic miy cuda lamangia sequanta compania ...novokarcheta vnuknemore ahit diunessimenaychoria...ahit coviltekruorreyh...ai volte kuoreeee...
La La LA jhtjhtb iehhhhhhmmmmmmm..lAlAl lA lalaln jmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmla la lallalaaaaaaaaaaaalallllllllllaaalalalala- - - -hmmmmmm
hmmm
hmmmm
hmmmm
hmmmmmmmmm...-----traaababababbabababa 11111.............tryyyyrimdkmngksngkweht.....hmmmmajjjjammmmhkkklllkkkhmmmgjtt fggrgrksklslslsnfhfhjfjrnrtbrbrbhrhrhrhrhrh........................-----------.....----
dtadtataaaa
fdad dad da
ohhhh che sisate ehe kuvosefei scoraso maoisokundatroooo..feisorhntiro
useioemor
tamericano orheokukivosei foifraquazi asitnuulmatouuuu...
tetisoramait.....
Theories? Music.
Oahiylalllayayyai...dont lebe in me in all this pain..dont leave me out int he rian...vome back bring back the smile...i need ur arms to hold me now..nights r so unkinf..bring back thsoe nights...unbreak my heart.....say u love again me gaian..undot hese tewras hurt when u worked out the door uncry these tears i cried so many nights...unbrerak my heart my heart...my heart....take back that sad word goodbye bring back the joy to my life come and kiss this pain away icant forget the day yu left time is so unkind....and life is so cruel without you here beside me unbreak my heart...say you love me again undot his hurt because you walked out of my life uncry these tears ic ried so many nights unbrerak my heart ....hooooowwwwwwooouuuuu
Puh!
Touching? Dont leave in on this pain dotn leave me out int eh rain bring abck the nights when i held you.,.,unbreak my heart say you love again...uncry undo this hurt you caused when you waclek un brrak oh baby come back and say you love me unbreak me without you i just cant go on say you lobff em v me me love come love me unbreak my heart say you love say you love me say you love me say you love me
Time. 3 hours of sad slow songs and a summer of choosing them and I am not a puddle of mush, yet torn heart strings might tear once more, just a little. cheese? why is something considered cheesy and embarassing? the borders are softly dissolved and I am convinced it matters little.
pampam...palalalal....undrgrizelzhigodeboden....zigofoleolgo...taileo shufeinhn....shguehin....
tatatat....
let me be misunderstood...
if you go away...if you go away...but if you stay ill make you a day like no day has been or will be again
leave me just enough love...to hold in my hand..if you go away..ne me quitte pas!
Dance me through the panic
Touch me with your naked hand
Touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love.
reading books about dance.
watching films about dance.
listening to music for the dance.
dancing for hours.
performance friday.
let's dance
shall we dance
cry me a river!
I cried a river over you!
